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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 27-09-2011 18:45
A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.
After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
RE: Jokes - Scottishbloke - 27-09-2011 22:14
My father once told me, theres only 2 things that smell like fish and one of them is fish.
RE: Jokes - dazzad99 - 28-09-2011 10:36
Three bodies turn up in the mortuary one day with smiles on their faces. A visiting policeman asks the coroner, "why are they all smiling?" Coroner says, "First guy died of a heart attack while having sex. Second guy went the same way, after winning the lottery. Third ones a bit different though, he was struck by lighting." "What's funny about that?" asks the policeman. Coroner replies, "The tw*t thought he was having his picture taken!"
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 28-09-2011 10:53
I've just texted my wife:
'Just booked us a 5 day Mediterranean cruise. We go in 6 weeks time xxx'
She texted back:
'Nice! But I wish it could be twice as long xxx'
So I just phoned the travel agents and changed it, now we're going in 12 weeks instead.
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 28-09-2011 10:59
The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat.
RE: Jokes - handsomeSOB - 28-09-2011 13:17
an unpaid job in america makes no CENTS
RE: Jokes - Stillroom Rock - 28-09-2011 13:48
What do Tevez and a tramp have in common ?
They are both hard to remove from a bench
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 28-09-2011 13:50
Have you heard about the new sandwich shop in town being opened by Carlos Tevez?
It's called "Sub-NO-Way"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 28-09-2011 15:32
This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth." The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!" To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair."
RE: Jokes - Boomerangutangangbang - 28-09-2011 17:55
I got home last night from a poker evening with my mates.My wife was of course waiting up,ready to moan as usual."Stop" I said " dont even bother getting pissed off.Pack your bags.I lost you in a poker game, your moving in with Bob."How could you do such a terrible thing" she whined. "Wasn't easy" I said "you don't normally fold with four aces"