RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 08-04-2012 22:20
My mate Paddy has been panic buying Diesel.
So far, he has 4 pairs of jeans, 8 shirts and 6 bottles of aftershave!
RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 08-04-2012 22:23
Sky Sports News ....
Mancini says Balotelli will never play for Manchester City again!!!
Where have we heard that before???
RE: Jokes - Boomerangutangangbang - 09-04-2012 20:28
If you ever Google Gary Oldman,for fucks sake dont forget the 'r'
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 09-04-2012 22:17
I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night.
He told me to fuck off and buy my own.
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 09-04-2012 22:19
I informed my wife months in advance that I wanted an Xbox for my birthday, nothing else, just an Xbox. Even after all of this, she ended up getting a framed picture of me and her.
Which is cool, because for her birthday, I'm gonna get her an Xbox.
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 09-04-2012 22:19
My mate posted on Facebook: 'Spending the night in with my girl'
I couldn't help but chuckle, My Girl is a shit film.
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 09-04-2012 22:20
My son was ill last night so we called the doctor for a house visit.
After an examination, he turned to us and said, "I think you should call a Priest."
"Oh my god!" cried my wife. "Is he going to die?"
"No, he's constipated," replied the doctor, "But half an hour with a Priest should loosen him up nicely."
RE: Jokes - Money_Shot - 09-04-2012 22:20
I was stood at the bar last night when an overweight girl came over:
"Hey stud, got a name?" she purred.
"Dave" I said, "but everyone calls me cake"
"Wow, nice nickname. Is that 'cos you're so sweet?" she giggled.
"No" I said, "it's 'cos when I'm out, every fat cunt tries to get their hands on me."
RE: Jokes - Boomerangutangangbang - 10-04-2012 15:09
When I die I'd like the word humble to be written on my statue.
RE: Jokes - Regenerated - 10-04-2012 16:32
"I'm not feeling well" says a patient to his doctor. "Do you think it might be my diet?" The doctor asks "what have you been eating?" The patient replies "snooker balls. I have two reds for breakfast, three blues for lunch and five browns and a pink for dinner." The doctor says "I think I see the problem. You're not getting enough greens"
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