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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 30-10-2009 14:04
Don't you just love grandparents...
While playing basketball with my girlfriend the other day in my garden, my nan was having a cup of tea outside.
Reacting to me missing about 5 shots in a row she says,
"How are you going to get her pregnant if you cant even hit the hole?"
Priceless
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 30-10-2009 14:11
Australian radio station running a competition, come up with a word not in the dictionary and use it in a sentence
DJ: "gday mate ure on the air, whats ure word?
CALLER: "geearn"
DJ: "can ya use it in a sentence?"
CALLER: "yeah, geearn fack urself!"
DJ: "whoa there fella, u cant use that kind of language on air!"
and cuts him off, 5 mins later another caller
DJ: "gday there caller ure on the air, whats ure word?"
CALLER: "smee"
DJ: "can u use it in a sentence?"
CALLER: "yeh, smee agen geearn fack urself!!!"
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 30-10-2009 14:13
I've got my first cage fight next week ...
That budgie won't know whats fucking hit it.
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 30-10-2009 15:12
Started going to the gym on holiday,
Did 10 reps.
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 30-10-2009 16:12
No matter how bad my life gets, I can always be happy knowing that I'm better than the people on The Jeremy Kyle Show
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 30-10-2009 17:51
I've watched 13,269 videos on realmadrid.
It's now crystal clear to me why I don't have a girlfriend.
RE: Jokes - brummie - 30-10-2009 19:23
What do you call 2 members of Girls Aloud at the bottom of the ocean?.......A good start!
RE: Jokes - skully - 30-10-2009 19:35
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
__________________________________________________________
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned.
__________________________________________________________
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.
RE: Jokes - dopey1 - 30-10-2009 20:57
Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
And coming in at number 1 is....
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
RE: Jokes - black knight - 31-10-2009 11:35
what does an old woman have between her tits that a young woman doesnt? A NAVEL