RE: Jokes - MikeGee - 14-10-2017 22:23
Friday night and a teenage chavette wants to go out clubbing with her mates for the evening, so she goes downstairs to the living room and asks her Father if she can go out.
He's of an incestuous persuasion so says
"Yeah, you can go out....but I want a blowjob first".
The Daughters incredulous and replies "no way"
So, she stomps back upstairs to her room and is sitting there bored and after a while starts thinking 'maybe it wouldn't be so bad' so back downstairs she goes to her Father and agrees to his terms...
He's sitting there with his trousers round his ankles and she starts performing, when she looks up aghast and says..
"this tastes like shit"
to which her Father replies,
"Well, your brother wanted to go out as well"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 15-10-2017 15:43
Today I arrested a dyslexic robber.
He walked into a bank and said.
“Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up!”
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 15-10-2017 15:52
My wife said “It’d be nice if one day I came home from work & the housework was done!
” I said “Well, get up earlier & do it before you go!”
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 18-10-2017 15:45
I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet.
It reminds me why there’s no money in there.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 21-10-2017 12:39
My wife says she´s leaving me because of my obsession with Kylie Minogue.........I should be so lucky.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 22-10-2017 20:29
What’s the difference between prison and marriage?
In prison you get to finish a sentence.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 23-10-2017 15:56
Went to the sperm clinic earlier.
The lady asked if I'd like to masturbate in the cup?
I said 'I'm good but not ready for competition yet'
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 23-10-2017 19:32
My girlfriend isn't talking to me as apparently I ruined her birthday.
Not sure how I did that!
I didn't even know it was her birthday!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 23-10-2017 19:35
Just seen this on Tinder...
'Blonde, 33 from London Great Personality 5ft 3 Green Eyes'
No wonder she's single. I mean, 3 green eyes!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 23-10-2017 19:37
I've found something my wife's bum doesn't look big in...
The distance!
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