RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 07-04-2018 19:39
Bloody autocorrect strikes again.
The other day I sent my best mate a text saying 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river?'
I mean, how embarrassing. I meant 'canal'
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 07-04-2018 19:41
I'm setting up a group for cyclists who ignore red lights!
Please feel free to join..
Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 09-04-2018 11:56
Me - I’m having a great day apart from Newpussycat...
Friend - what’s Newpussycat?
Me - Whoaaah whoaaah whoooaaaah
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 13-04-2018 08:43
Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me asked what I thought of her flip flops?
Bloody horrible I said
"Put your bikini top back on"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 16-04-2018 22:08
I said to my wife "When I die," I'd like to die having sex"
She replied "At least we know it'll be quick"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 16-04-2018 22:09
The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, she walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her. "8 or 9 at least!" I said. "Out of 10?" she smiled. "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered." Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 16-04-2018 22:13
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings'....
Apparently Gollum was once a normal man.
But wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life.
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 16-04-2018 22:16
I was on a plane and the air hostess said, "Want some headphones?
"I said, "Blimey. How'd you guess that my name is Phones?"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 17-04-2018 10:14
At my last job interview, I was asked what my greatest weakness was
I said "honesty".
The interviewer said "I don't think honesty is a weakness"
I replied "I don't give a shit what you think"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 21-04-2018 14:53
I was having trouble with my computer at work so I called IT Support...
He said, "Have you tried disabling cookies?"
I said, "Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man?"
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