RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 29-04-2018 17:02
I woke up with a face full of rice.
I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 30-04-2018 22:00
Heard about the dyslexic drug dealer?
Tried selling me an 'F'
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 30-04-2018 22:01
I think my wife sells drugs?
As I was leaving the phone rang.
When I answered it the bloke on the other end said "has that dope gone yet?"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 01-05-2018 10:16
I spent ages trying to cross a busy road...
A passer-by said, "There's a pelican crossing up the road".
I replied "I hope he's having better luck than me"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 02-05-2018 09:25
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a rodger.
I was scrambling out of my jeans, when she explained she wanted someone to help pay the rent!.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 03-05-2018 16:49
In light of the proposed merger between Asda And Sainsbury's it has just been announced that Poundstretcher and Marks & Spencer's are to merge too.
It will now be known as Stretch Marks.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 03-05-2018 16:50
I went back to the card shop yesterday and said, "Do you sell bereavement cards?"
"Yes we do." replied the assistant.
"Good," I said, "could I exchange this 'Get Well Soon' card for one?"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 06-05-2018 18:57
Wish me luck.
I'm off to speak to the bank manager today, and if things work out for me my life will change dramatically - I'm talking millions here.
I'm so excited I can hardly get this balaclava over my head.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 11-05-2018 22:32
Went to the Doctors today complaining of strange voices coming from my underpants.
The Doctor said, "ignore them, they're talking bollocks"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 11-05-2018 22:33
Doctor: "Have you been getting enough exercise?"
Me: "Does sex count as exercise?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Me: "No!"
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