RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 31-12-2018 23:16
Since my wife left, I’ve bought a Harley, loads of cocaine and am currently in bed with two prostitutes.
She’s gonna go apeshit when she gets home from work.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 12:41
People say that time is money. Well I don’t buy that for a second.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 12:46
A man arrives home from work with flowers in his hand.
His wife looks up at him and says “Oh, you show up with flowers and I just bet you expect me to spread my legs for you?”
“Oh no dear” he replies, “a vase should work just fine.”
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 12:49
I’m truly disgusted by people who poach rare animals.
They taste much better grilled.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 12:53
Took the wife out for a romantic meal last night and we played footsie under the table while we were eating.
I had a lovely steak and she got toed in the hole.
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 01-01-2019 18:55
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? - Elephino.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 19:33
Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a supermarket
How long have you been thinking this?
Since I was Lidl.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 19:34
Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night
Knew i should have put it on aloha temperature.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 19:35
A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar..
He came, he saw, he conquered...
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 01-01-2019 19:37
My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant.
His exact words were “When I want your fucking advice I’ll ask for it”.
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