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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 09-01-2019 20:05
What do a pigs tail and getting up at 4.30am have in common?
They are both twirly.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 09-01-2019 20:06
I have just seen an incredibly loud Abba tribute in the shopping centre.
You could hear the drums from Nandos.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 09-01-2019 20:10
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The curious undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "2000 years ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance."
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 09-01-2019 21:46
Who are credited as among the smartest people around - Unemployed jesters as they are nobodies fool.
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 09-01-2019 22:14
As I walked into the supermarket earlier today some random guy jumped out in front of me & threw 2 pints of milk,a pint of cream & a tub of butter at me. -How dairy.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 09-01-2019 23:31
The electrician next door has joined Hare Krishna. He goes around all day going “ohm..ohm”
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 09-01-2019 23:35
My mate died after taking an E.
Countdown's security staff don't fuck about.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 09-01-2019 23:35
My cockney girlfriend farted last night and it smelled strongly of Turkish Delight...
Unfortunately that’s rhyming slang..
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 09-01-2019 23:36
TIP.....
Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 09-01-2019 23:41
I went into Primark earlier today to buy a pair of camouflage trousers but couldn't find any.