RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 10-01-2019 18:19
One year I decided to buy my mother in law a cemetery plot
As a Christmas gift...
The next year I didn’t buy her a gift
When she asked why, I replied..
“Well you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 10-01-2019 18:24
Who’s the coolest person working in a hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
Who’s the coolest when he’s not available?
The hip replacement guy.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 10-01-2019 18:25
My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts by sitting on them.
I reckon he’s torquing out of his backside.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 11-01-2019 11:33
I have the best doctor.
Every time I get my prostate checked he puts both hands on my shoulders to comfort me.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 11-01-2019 11:34
I'm sick of people knocking on my door begging.
Theres just been a woman asking for donations for a sperm bank.
I gave her a right mouthful!
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 11-01-2019 11:57
Keep them coming guys. Some great stuff in here from you...
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 11-01-2019 15:08
The missus was dancing on a pub table after having too much to drink last night.
"Great legs " said the bloke standing next to me
" you think so " I said
" yeah " he replied " most tables would collapse under all that weight "
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 11-01-2019 15:13
A warehouse worker at Nestle was tragically killed when he was crushed by a pallet of chocolate that fell on him.
He could have been saved, but when he shouted " the milky bars are on me "
his colleagues just cheered.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 11-01-2019 15:51
I went to the video shop and asked if I could rent ‘Batman Forever’
The bloke said “No you’ve got to bring it back tomorrow”.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 11-01-2019 15:53
Got on the weight watchers website today looking for tips. First thing it asked me to do was to accept cookies!
|