RE: Jokes - The Goatman - 13-01-2019 03:37
What do you call a man at an abortion clinic? Relieved
RE: Jokes - The Goatman - 13-01-2019 03:39
I always go the extra mile. The restraining order says I have to
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 13:21
What do you call a bag of fannies?
Clitorish Allsorts.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 13:23
My mate bet me £100 that I couldn’t do a butterfly impression.....
I thought ‘that’s worth a little flutter’...
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 13:40
As my sperm dripped down my wife’s chin, I looked her in the eyes and asked “Do you like that?”
“No” she replied, “what the fuck is in this sandwich?”
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 13:49
I was already having a shitty day when I discovered that someone had torn a handful of pages from out of both ends of my new dictionary. Now it just goes from bad to worse.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 13:51
I phoned my local Weight Watchers and asked if they could send someone round...
“Of course” they said, “we’ve got loads of them”.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 14:00
A fella buys a Cockney parrot but gets sick and tired of it saying “I’m from London and I’m hard as fuck”, so he puts a kestrel in its cage.
The next morning he comes downstairs to find the kestrel dead, and the parrot saying “I’m from London and I’m hard as fuck”.
So the fella puts a Golden Eagle into the cage.
The next morning the fella comes downstairs to find that the Golden Eagle is dead, and the parrot has no feathers.
As he looks in the cage, the parrot says “Had to take me coat off for that fucker”.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 13-01-2019 17:30
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 13-01-2019 18:52
My mate Dave was addicted to Cough Drops.
He ended up in a Menthol Institution!
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