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+---- Thread: Jokes (/showthread.php?tid=3004)
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RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 12-11-2009 16:45
An elderly man was at home when he saw some young chavs vandalising his garden shed, so he called the police, explained the situation and what should he do.
The police said they were a litte too busy to come round but to lock his door, stay inside and wait for when the police could come round. The elderly gent hung up the phone.
10 minutes later he called the police again and said its ok now and not to come round as he's shot them and no longer pose a threat.
Within 5 minutes armed police were breaking down the door to his house, but instead of finding the old man with a gun and dead chavs, they caught the vandals red handed alive and well!
The police were supprised and said "we thought you said you had shot them"?
To which the old guy replied "I thought you said you were too busy to come round"
RE: Jokes - black knight - 12-11-2009 17:01
thats a good joke mate,and so true as well
RE: Jokes - Shalashaska - 12-11-2009 18:49
Math Test
This math test can predict your all time most watched film, mine was Saving Private Ryan. Try it without looking at the answers. It works!
Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Then multiply by 3 again.
You will get your answer by adding the two digits together to find your all time favorite movie. Good Luck !!
Answers from Test
1. Gone with the Wind.
2. Aliens.
3. Oliver.
4. Star Wars.
5. Forrest Gump.
6. Saving Private Ryan.
7. Jaws.
8. Grease.
9. The joy of Anal Sex with male goats & leather clad gay boys.
10. Mary Poppins.
RE: Jokes - black knight - 12-11-2009 19:58
mine was oliver,unless i done it wrong
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 13-11-2009 14:05
Some people said Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is a bit unrealistic.
The Americans are hunting down 2 brits,
The British are trying to save the world
and the French are nowhere to be found.
Sounds pretty fuckin realistic to me.
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 13-11-2009 14:08
The worst thing about people having sex in the next hotel room is how cold the glass is on your ear.
RE: Jokes - black knight - 13-11-2009 15:52
two woman are chatting when one spots the others husband and says"oh look,gloria!,your husbands bought you a bunch of flowers"gloria says "oh great,thats me on my back all weekend then"her friend looks suprised and asks"havnt you got a vase then?"
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 13-11-2009 17:46
Loooooooool
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 13-11-2009 17:48
Three kinds of female orgasm -
Positive: "Yes...yes...yeeeessss....YES!!"
Negative: "No...no...noooooooo.....NO!"
Fake: "Oh Mick"
RE: Jokes - Summerz_180 - 13-11-2009 17:50
I got drunk last night and attacked my Butler. Now he's lost the use of his left arm.
Serves me right.