RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 28-01-2019 10:33
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of £20 costs.
"Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.
"I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man.
"And why not?"
"Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 28-01-2019 10:40
Where's Donald Trump's favorite place to shop?
Wall-mart!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 28-01-2019 12:36
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no. I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 28-01-2019 12:37
I got fired at work today. My boss said my communication skills were awful.I didn"t know what to say to that.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 28-01-2019 12:39
I'm in hospital!
Dont Panic! I ate what I thought was an onion, but it was a daffodill bulb!
Doctors reckon I'll be out in the Spring.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 28-01-2019 21:05
Friends are hosting a joint Chinese New Year and Burns Night party. I wasn’t keen but they twisted my arm..
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 28-01-2019 23:52
My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat.
In the end, he came around.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 29-01-2019 12:34
When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my french" after a swear word. I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked if we know any french.
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 29-01-2019 12:41
I had a brainwave while internet surfing...
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 29-01-2019 13:52
Please keep an eye out for elderly neighbours during this cold snap...
They'll try to corner you to talk about the weather for hours if you're not careful.
|