RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 30-01-2019 23:33
For every rich tea biscuit, there are a thousand tea biscuits living in squalor. Bloody Tories.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 30-01-2019 23:33
A man walks into Waterstones and asks the young lady assistant,
“Do you have the new self help book out for men with a small penis? I can’t remember the title”
She replies “I’m not sure if it’s in yet”.
The man says “that’s the one, I’ll take a copy”.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 30-01-2019 23:36
My therapist suggested that to get over old wounds I should write letters to my enemies and then burn them. It actually worked! I’m just not sure if I’m supposed to keep the letters...
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 31-01-2019 11:50
Does anyone want to make me an offer on 40 pints of milk, 25 loaves of bread, 60 assorted cans of various tinned items & 48 dozen eggs?
That snow bomb wasn’t as bad as I first expected.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 31-01-2019 20:21
Top things to know about constipation:
1. There is no number 2
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 31-01-2019 20:22
My wife said we should spice up our love life by participating in some "doctors and nurses" role play.
So I put her on a trolley and ignored her for two days.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 31-01-2019 20:24
A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."
"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a ten pound note." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you £10 to have your shirt cleaned."
"Thass a great idea!"
When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"
He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me £10 to have my shirt cleaned."
The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's £20 in here!"
"Oh yeah, he shit my pants, too."
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 31-01-2019 20:37
A woman at work has just emailed me..
"thespacebuttonisbrokenonmylaptop.canyougivemeanalternative"
Does anyone know what "ternative" means?
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 01-02-2019 11:54
Giggling because I've just drawn a cock 'n' balls on the bosses car... Took me ages to brush all the snow off & get the permanent marker to work in the wet.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 01-02-2019 11:58
My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men, so I told her to sit down and shut up.
But she couldn't do either.
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