RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 03-03-2019 21:20
BREAKING NEWS
Police in Liverpool today pulled over a local lad and were amazed to find the car taxed tested and insured.
It wasn't stolen and there was no stolen goods or drugs found.
The driver was sober.
He had a full licence and no points.
A police spokesman said they had no option but to fine him £80 for wasting police time.
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 03-03-2019 21:53
I met my current bit-on-the-side on one of those dating App things where I was immediately interested in her when on her Job Description she put down 'Puppeteer'.I pointed out to her I was only interested in a relationship with 'no strings attached'.
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 03-03-2019 21:55
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 04-03-2019 20:32
I'm starting to think my G.P believes I've been taking hallucinating drugs.A little dickie bird told me that.
RE: Jokes - handsomeSOB - 04-03-2019 21:02
I once asked a Southern girl to rate my listening skills.
She said, “you’re an eight on a scale of ten”.
To this day I have no idea why she wanted me pee on a skeleton...
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 05-03-2019 18:45
I went to the library earlier today & asked the assistant if they had a book titled 'How to Handle Rejection Without the need to use Violence'.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 06-03-2019 13:43
I’ve just seen 8 legs of venison for sale...£145.
Do you think that’s 2 deer?
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 06-03-2019 13:47
Just been asked by a group of teenagers outside the Co-op if I would get them 20 Richmonds. Reluctantly I agreed and got them.
I handed them over and you should have heard the aggressive abuse they then gave me! So I told them “Next time, get your own sausages!”.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 06-03-2019 13:49
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 06-03-2019 13:51
I recently became addicted to Viagra.
My wife has taken it really hard.
|