RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 18-03-2019 21:50
Really enjoyed reading Chris Eubank’s book about ethics.
I can’t wait for his next one about Kent.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 19-03-2019 21:27
So I was in a job interview last week and the panel asked me what my weaknesses were.
I replied, "Honesty."
One panellist said, "I don't consider honesty to be a weakness."
So I looked at him coldly and replied, "I couldn't give a fuck what you think, you quilt!"
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 19-03-2019 21:28
A colleague of mine turned up with a goat this morning. He claims he misunderstood "bring your kid to work day".
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 19-03-2019 21:29
I see Mick Hucknell's been arrested for indecent exposure in an art gallery in Paris. Basically he was fucking the paintings - mainly impressionist ones - well, everyone has a fetish, right?
So when Police questioned him about what it was like, he replied, "The Dégas was too gross, the Matisse was too gentile but the Monet was too tight to mention!"
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 19-03-2019 21:30
I tripped over a bra this morning....
It was a booby trap....
I felt a right tit!
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 19-03-2019 21:31
Considering one of these new celebrity facelifts but I'm on a budget. So I've opted for the Mick Hucknell version by holding back the ears.
RE: Jokes - Jack the Nipper - 20-03-2019 14:59
According to research involving some of the worlds top mathematicians 5 out of 3 people have trouble understanding fractions.
RE: Jokes - handsomeSOB - 21-03-2019 00:05
new idea for a TV show, people come up with homonyms of famous people while trying to escape out the side of a giant head
I call it, Rhyme A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Ear
RE: Jokes - Skyline - 24-03-2019 08:53
I quit my local gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it!, Come on push. You can do it".
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 25-03-2019 22:02
What’s the worst thing about being an egg?
You only get laid once and it’s by your mother
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