RE: Jokes - GMach1 - 17-05-2019 20:30
Little girl comes home the other day and her Daddy says "what did you learn in school today"
The little girl says she did Religious Education and the father asks "who did you learn about?"
The girl looks at her father and says "Well we learnt about a man called Lot whose wife was told not to look back at the city and was turned into a pillock of salt!"
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 23-05-2019 21:25
My dad always said to me “Son, fight fire with fire” probably why I failed the firemen’s practical exam
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 23-05-2019 21:27
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his taxi.
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 28-05-2019 22:43
What do you call a vegan with diarrhoea ?
A smoothie maker
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 28-05-2019 22:48
A chap goes for a job interview.
We are looking for somone responsible said the interviewer.
I'm your man said the chap. Whenever anything went wrong at my previous job, my old boss said I was always responsible.
RE: Jokes - GMach1 - 30-05-2019 23:56
Had a dream about that girl in a sci fi series Millie Bobbie Brown and she was riding a unicorn with a fish companion. I told my friend about it and asked him if it meant anything, he didn't know but he said "well stranger things have happened!" (I made this up on the spur of the moment btw)
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 02-06-2019 19:02
My wife and I have been married for quite a few years and my wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again.
I brought home diet pills. Apparently not quite what she meant.
RE: Jokes - Carl-Gen X - 02-06-2019 19:04
What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
"Some arsehole has my pen."
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 02-06-2019 19:22
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges our dinner plates by how much they cost.
It’s an extremely rare dish order!
RE: Jokes - Cheesy Grin - 02-06-2019 19:25
Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other one says, "Well, I’m a big metal fan."
|