Headmistress Mellie D,
I've been a naughty boy in Class,
I told everyone I wouldn't be here,
When really I am so you must cane my...

Bottom marks for me again,
I really must try and study more,
But every time you walk in the classroom,
All I can do is stare and say...

Cor! get me pen to work,
It doesn't want to write,
So I'll spend all lesson looking at you instead,
As you really are a beautiful...

Sight must be going,
As all I can see are two large round bits,
I'm not sure what they really are,
But somebody once called them...

Tits very annoying,
When you want to do your best,
But instead of that you spend all lesson,
Staring at headmistresses...

Chester is a lovely city,
I've been to places that are worse,
But before I get into anymore trouble,
It's time to end this verse.