RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 16-08-2019 20:28
Bloke phones up the dentist:
"How much to have a tooth pulled?"
Dentist: "£100.00 service - we give the patient laughing gas and there is no pain."
Patient: That's a bit steep anything cheaper?"
Dentist: "£50.00 service - we give the patient a drill extraction and there is some pain."
Patient: That's still a bit steep anything cheaper?"
Dentist: "£25.00 service rope and tackle job plenty of blood and pain for six months."
Patient: That's perfect Can i book the mother in law for next Friday morning?"
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 17-08-2019 08:07
What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 17-08-2019 08:10
A homeless man up in front of a judge on aggravated begging charge says
"I don't recognise this court."
"Why not?"
"It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 17-08-2019 08:21
It's Jimmy's wife birthday soon. So he says to her:
"What would you like for your birthday?"
She says: "I want a divorce."
he says:
"I wasn't planning on spending that much."
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 19-08-2019 07:46
My mum won't let my dad make love to her anymore due to religious grounds
She claims to be Jewish and he's a pig
RE: Jokes - Tractor boy - 19-08-2019 13:58
I keep randomly shouting out cauliflower and broccoli.
I think I must be suffering from florets.
RE: Jokes - GMach1 - 19-08-2019 17:55
Can I tap you for a fiver?
For a tenner you can hit me with a brick!
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 19-08-2019 18:37
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy.“
RE: Jokes - lovebabes56 - 19-08-2019 18:38
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
RE: Jokes - The Goatman - 26-08-2019 16:49
What do you call a fat person who Identifies as skinny ?
Trans-slender
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