Jokes

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

I met a girl in the pub last night who said she could show me a good time.
We went outside and she did a 40-metre dash in 5 seconds.

I think that my pig has lost its memory.
It has hamnesia.

What did the penis say to the condom?

Cover me, I’m going in

We should play strip poker.

You can strip and I’ll poke you.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.

How is virginity like a soap bubble?

One prick and it’s gone

Six months ago, I ordered a book off a website. How to scam people online, it was called, cost me £100.

It still hasn't arrived.

I know how to build a pyramid.

Up to a point.