Jokes

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?

She just couldn’t take it any longer.

A dad is out driving with his young son

Son. Dad how do know if you are drunk ?

Dad. Well son, you see those 2 cars in front of us ? If I was drunk I would see 4.

Son. Dad, there is only 1 car in front of us.

Let's have a moment's silence for all those stuck in traffic on the way to the gym waiting to ride stationary bicycles

My mum and dad were midgets.
We were poor and they struggled to put food on the table

My wife says that I'm a terrible parker, and my Lady Penelope impression is worse.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

"HDMI."

Before the invention of the wheel… everything was a drag!

Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine?

It was about a weak back!

Today I gave my dead batteries away.

They were free of charge.