Jokes

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi.

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

I asked my wife why she married me. She said: “Because you’re really funny.”

I said: “I thought it was because I’m good in bed.”

She said: “See! You’re hilarious.”

What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?

A tearjerker.

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.

What’s the difference between a tyre and 365 used condoms

One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

What's better than roses on your piano

Tulips on your organ.

Police have arrested the World Tongue Twister champion.

They said he will be given a tough sentence.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

What did one traffic light say to the other?

Stop looking at me, I’m changing!