Jokes

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

There are three types of people in the world.

Those who can count and those who can’t.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed some space.

Husband to wife: The postman just boasted to me he's slept with every woman in the street bar one.

Wife: I bet it's that stuck up cow at number 52.

I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive.

My girlfriend lives forty miles away.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield.

Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"