Jokes

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”,

I replied ” you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”

How is virginity like a soap bubble?

One prick and it’s gone

How is pubic hair like parsley?

You push it to the side before you start eating.

Im so fed up with people moaning every holiday.
£5 for parking
£1 for the toilet
£3 for a coffee
£3 for a soft drink
£7 for a beer
£8 for a burger
£6 for a hot dog
Please stop all the complaining and enjoy your holiday.

If not dont bother to visit me when I'm having a barbecue.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.