Jokes

I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers, but the girl at the counter keeps putting it back.

Sex on TV can’t hurt… unless you fall off.

Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?

“It’s not what it looks like!”

How is life like toilet paper?

You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Where do pirates get their hooks?

Secondhand stores.

6:30 is the best time on a clock,

Hands down.

If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.