Jokes

Did you know that the word Gullible isn't in the Oxford English Dictionary?

I gave up my job in the helium factory. I wasn't going to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

A man goes into a barber, and as he's sitting there having his hair cut, the barber says "Excuse me, sir, your hair's going grey". So the man says "Well, get a bloody move on".

Always borrow money from a pessimist.

They’ll never expect it back.

If supermarkets are lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store free yet?

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.