Jokes

What made me want to become an editor?

Well, to cut a long story short.....

What do you call a factory that makes good products?

A satisfactory!

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!

I think my attempts at reducing use of clichés is going well.

I'm just taking it one day at a time and giving it 110%.

A slice of apple pie costs £2.50 in Jamaica, £3.75 in Bermuda, and £3 in the Bahamas.

Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

What do you call a criminal landing an airplane?

Condescending.

The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people...

In the supermarket the other day i asked where the deodorants were.
The assistant asked "Ball or aerosol?"
I replied "That's a bit personal, but actually it's for under my arms!"

Why do many men tend to gain weight after they get married?
The single man comes home, see's what's in the fridge and goes to bed.
The married man comes home, see's what's in the bed and goes to the fridge......

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug