Have you ever?

No, but I once went as a guy with his heart ripped out just to snipe at an ex-girlfriend - I was popular that night.

Have you ever fallen 18,000 feet out of the tail turret of a Lancaster without a parachute?

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~

No, but I have fallen 50 foot down a cliff...

Have you ever shagged your girlfriend's mom?

Nope, but I once accidentally climbed into bed and rubbed my hard on against my sister-in-law's arse and propositioned her after going into the wrong hotel room when pissed out of my skull at a family wedding. Oh, how we all laughed about that........... Eventually.

Have you ever gone for Christmas dinner with your in-laws and been unable to look a single one of them in the eye?

Yes, i met my Mrs about a month before Christmas, when i was invited to hers for christmas dinner and met the family for the first time they were less than hospitable...in fact my now brother in law asked me to leave when i offered my hand for a handshake (he's ok with me now) but i spent the most uncomfortable 4 hours pretty much staring at the floor.

Have you ever tried to pass off a takeaway meal as your own cooking?

(Gary's special "Homemade" Smokey BBQ Pizza was a big hit at my housewarming party a few years ago )

No, but I wish I had after that awful jam roly-poly affair - it was like concrete with burnt stuff on the ends and a very polite friend of mine ate it all stating that "it's really not that bad" - No, don't do it, man; it really is!

Have you ever made your fridge self-destruct?

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~

Yes..simply by bringing an electrical appliance into my house (My house and electrical appliances do not get along judging by the amount of washing machines ive been through in the 4 years since i moved here - last count was 6 )

Have you ever regretted a hair cut?

Yes, I had spiky hair once and didn't like it.

Have you ever worn a baseball cap back to front?

Noooooooo

Have you ever worn a bumbag ? lol

No - a money-belt on a school trip was humiliating enough, thanks!

Have you ever faked a psychological condition in order to escape from a given situation?

Missing key events. Talking bollocks. Making stuff up.
~~~SAVE THE KRILL!~~~

Yes (3 months of "Depression" to force a shit company i worked for to make me redundant)

Have you ever been caught wanking?