Favourite TV & Film Quotes & Dialogue

Harry Hills TV Burp - Freaky Hoops Eater

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKyC9MEDZSA

The Simpsons Mother Simpson episode

Joe Friday [to Selma]: Ma'am, we're going to need your assistance in locating this individual.
Selma: [giggling] Oh, your fresh. Don't you want to play "Good Cop, Bad Cop"?
Joe Friday: Ma'am, we're all good cops.
Selma: I had no intention of playing the good cop [giggles some more]
[Mr. Burns sitting across the other couch cringes with disgust]

the simpsons fear of flying episode

Marge:[panting nervously] am just going to get a picture of the plane taking off
Homer: (to Marge) Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?
Marge: Homer, I've never told you this before, but I'm not a good flyer [panting] I have to get off the plane. Let me off the plane. I'm asking you nicely to open the doors!
Homer: Take it easy, Marge. How about if we dope you up real good? Marge: (screaming) Let me off let me off let me off let me off let me off let me off!!!

Lisa: Mom, can we talk to you? Marge: Can't talk. Keeping myself in a state of catlike readiness. Lisa: Uh… neat.

rush hour 3 (2007)

Master Yu: May I help you?
Detective James Carter: I'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?
Master Yu: Yu.
Detective James Carter: No, not me. You.
Master Yu: Yes, I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: Are you deaf?
Master Yu: No. Yu is blind.
Detective James Carter: I'm not blind. You blind.
Master Yu: That is what I just said.
Detective James Carter: You just said what?
Master Yu: I did not say what, I said Yu.
Detective James Carter: That's what I'm asking you.
Master Yu: And Yu is answering.
Detective James Carter: Shut up!
Detective James Carter: You!
Master Yu: Yes?
Detective James Carter: Not you. Him! What's your name?
Mi: Mi.
Detective James Carter: Yes, you.
Mi: I'm Mi.
Master Yu: He's Mi and I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass man because I am sick of playing games!

Detective James Carter: [after Det. Revi kisses him cheek to cheek] Hey man! You touch me again, you gonna owe me dinner and movie.
Detective Revi: Congratulations! It appears we have finally brought down the Triad.
Chief Inspector Lee: [total disbelief] We?
Detective James Carter: You didn't do shit!
Chief Inspector Lee: My butt still hurts!
Detective Revi: [winking at Lee] The Americans and the French need to work together in the spirit of brotherhood. Together, we can do anything. Anything!
Detective James Carter: He's right, Lee. Together we can do anything. I'll go this way...
Chief Inspector Lee: And I'll go that way.
[as they team punch Det. Revi]

Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)

John McClane: Listen, you fail I cover your ass. I fail you cover my ass!
Zeus Carver: And if we both fail?
John McClane: Then we're both fucked!

John McClane: Yippie-kai-yay motherfucker

bunk Moreland: I'm just a humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick.
lester Freamon: You give yourself too much credit.
bunk Moreland: Okay then. I ain't that humble.

the wire.

Captain Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean -

"You'd best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner - You're in one!"

"The road to Good Intentions be paved with Hell"

That's a bird… That's a cow… That's a horse with a hat on.

Buck Murdock (William Shatner)
Airplane 2

scream 4 (2011)

Jill Roberts: [while Sidney is sleeping, Jill enters her room.; Sidney wakes up] You just won't die will you? Who are you "Michael fucking Myers"?
Jill Roberts: [Sidney sees this and attempts to use the call button, but Jill grabs it] I don't think so.
Jill Roberts: [Jill begins strangling her] Just fucking die already!

There's no end of epic quotes from The Lord Of The Rings films, but.... Gimli, son of Gloin... in The Fellowship Of The Ring....

"Nobody tosses a Dwarf!"

"The road to Good Intentions be paved with Hell"