The awesomeness that is Matt Routledge discussion thread

Matt Routledge is what was there before the Big Bang

Matt Routledge is the final test on the Ninja training programme*






*Nobody has passed this element

Matt Routledge has won more fights than you've had hot dinners

Matt is a successful songwriter for Enya.

Matt ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying matt calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Matt routledge, because Matt killed that man.

Matt sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Matt roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Matt Routledge if his real name is "Matthew". Matt did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded

Matt frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Matt

When Matts wife burned the turkey one Christmas, Matt said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his Garden. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Matt Routledge".