Elle - Chat, Caps and Vids

Lol it would take alot more then that to make me have a hissy fit as Im far too much of a clown!!

Ok, Nightshows are definately on the cards and always have been, Something Il get round to doing in the future hopefully when daytime viewers are sick of seeing my mug and switch over to Jeremy Kyles instead! So watch this space!

Elle xx

Interesting ... night show definitely on the cards you say? ... excuse me, I just need to step outside for a second, brb ...

OOOOOOOHHHH MMYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... and I'm back. Okay, you've put us in a difficult position here. Because obviously we're not sick of seeing your mug (or your 2 lovely cups) but the thought of you on a night show is just ... hang on, just got to step outside again for a moment...

OOOWWW MY ACHING GONADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

... sorry, must be something I ate. Listen, I need to go (preferably to have the world's longest and coldest cold shower). Hopefully we'll see you on Den/Sunrise sometime this week, you've been missed.

(PS. Until Kyle has a cleavage like yours, trust me Elle, he's no compeTITion).

I actually feel a little insulted at the suggestion that I would rather watch chavs screeching at each other in front of a smarmy tosspot than marvel at the beauty of Elle's smile. Kyle will never, never be as good to watch as you, Elle, so there's really no need to wait to do a nightshow or two. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. xx

Okay Elle, it's been about 24 hours since you said that a night show might be on the cards. Since that moment; I haven't slept, I've noticed that my hands seem to tremble all the time and the unyielding priapism that I've been carrying around since yesterday shows no signs of abating, even when I set about it mercilessly with a flip-flop.

I understand that patience is a virtue, so I will behave (previous instances would suggest otherwise). For now, just promise us that you will give advanced warning prior to the night in question. I mean, my wife doesn't get locked in the cupboard under the stairs at 8.55pm by accident you know, it takes planning.

Elle,

I've been thinking a lot about your possible night-show debut (so much so that it aches at the end now) and it occurs to me that you might be under-prepared for the explicit filth you'll have to say on the show. Obviously you're very sexual and flirty but the day shows and the clips I've seen of your Internet fetish work are not at the same level of deviant perversity.

So, to help you (yes, that's what I'm telling myself) I will type a sentence below and all you have to do is fill in the blanks with what you deem appropriate. Easy! Here goes:

"I want you to put your ........ in my ........ and ........ me until you ........ all over my enourmous ........".

Best of luck Elle, I look forward to your response. And yes, I am holding it. Again.

BODY, ARMS, SQUEEZE, COLLAPSE, BED ???

Awwwww you are such a romantic guy, How sweet


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

Damn you, busty red-headed genius!!!

Well, several thousand points to you for being smarter AND sexier than I could possibly tolerate, though I am quite upset that you ruined my punchline. My version was:

" I want you to put your SELF in my SHOES and EMPATHIZE WITH me until you CUDDLE ME all over my enourmous SITTING ROOM".

I think we'll call that one a draw. Hopefully we'll see you on our tv's again soon. With the exception of Kirsten Imrie, I'd much rather see your leg-ends than those "legends".

Forum Style Wrote:I'd much rather see your leg-ends than those "legends".

Maybe ul be seeing both at once soon... Now IM talking in code hehehe

Elle xx

Don't tease me woman, I'm likely to explode at any second (not a sexual reference, I'm just very susceptible to spontaneous combustion in hot weather).

Okay, I can do this, I'm good with codes. You, your leg-ends and a legend? Both together soon? I've got it!! You're going to make Kirsten Imrie your bitch-slave and force her to lick your thighs! Awesome. Hang on, where's all this sticky stuff coming from?? Dammit! Nurse! ... I've been naughty again!

Oh, sorry to repeat myself but, if anything is 'on the cards', please give us enough warning so I can clean my teeth and put my Spiderman costume on first.

As if proof were need that I have WAY too much time on my hands, I've come up with a few anagrams of ELLE - GIRL ON THE DEN in the vain hope that this will please Elle and she'll grant me some wishes (she has magical powers, right?).

The first anagram is a choice, though it's really a no-brainer:
ELLE OR THIN-LEGEND

And the other two are merely options should Elle ever want to become a rapper:

LL EILEEN RED-THONG or LL TEEN-DINGLE HERO

Worth mentioning were (you can be the judge of that):

HERE END TINGLE - LOL and ILL NEED THONG-LEER

Perhaps not. I'm sure that Elle has magical powers though. I know for a fact that she's turned my testicles inside-out several times without even trying.