Jokes

Dating is a lot like fishing.

Sure, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.

But until I catch one, I’m just stuck here holding my rod.

The easiest way to tell the sex of an Ant, is to put it in water.

If it sinks. Girl ant

If it floats. Buoyant

Two men walk into a bar.

The Third one ducks!

I'm reading an antigravity book

It's impossible to put down!

Why did the farmer win an award?

He was out standing in his field!

I used to hate facial hair.

But then it grew on me!

you hear about the time Mickey Mouse flew a plane to Scotland?

it Didnaeland...

"Boy, I'm scared," John said to one of his friends.

"I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife."

"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."

"Easy for you to say."

"You like her that much?" the friend asks.

"It's not that," declared John.
.
.

"He didn't sign his name!

Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis.

And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes.

This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him.

There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..."