Jokes

Weirdly, I’ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn.

It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant?

Because Ken always came in another box.

Why do male squirrels swim on their back?

To keep their nuts dry.

A man and his family are staying at a hotel. The man asks the employee at the front desk if the adult channels are disabled.

No, it’s just regular p*rn, you sick f*ck.

I invented a new word!

Plagiarism!

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.