Jokes

I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel.

She died.

What do you call a video of two toads having sex?

Frogspawn.

* BREAKING NEWS *

Reports are coming in that Boy George has been attacked by a reptile on the set of I'm a Celebrity

They should have have got a calmer Chameleon, but apparently, they come and go .

Why are Penises the lightest things in the world?

Even thoughts can raise them.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A Little Johnny joke 2022

Little Johnny's neighbour just had a baby. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears.

When the mum and baby came back home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.

Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.

Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." The mother replies, 'Why, Thanks Johnny." Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Is he able to see alright?"

"Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision."

"That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!"

My father is a bus driver that circles Big Ben in London.

He works round the clock.

Why don't Americans spell "color" like "colour?"

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don't need u.

The policeman cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!"

"No!" the woman yelled back, "Cardigan!"

Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Four plus four, that son of a bitch is eight."

His mum overhears this and is shocked! she says to him, "What are you doing Johnny?"

Johnny replies, "I am just doing my maths homework."

" And is this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asks. "Yes," Johnny replies.

The mother is now angry and immediately phones Johnny's teacher, "What on earth are you teaching my son in class?" she asks.

The teacher replies, "Right now, we are learning mathematical addition."

The mother asks, "And are you teaching them to say one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven?"

After the teacher stopped laughing hysterically, she answers, "What I taught them to say was, one plus six, the sum of which is seven."