Jokes

Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without sex?

Marriage.

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

Because they need a better grip on the broom.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

Because his right hand caught on fire.

What’s the difference between Covid and your legs?

I don’t want Covid to spread.

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown.

My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex.

They're his watch dogs.

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!