Jokes

I just saw a leopard in Argos trying to exchange some saucepans but they told him he couldn't change his pots!

I went to the gym last week and I noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to put my finger in…

Anyway, she made a formal complaint and now I'm banned for life!

I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing.

It’s just one step forward, two steps back

A manager reprimanded an employee and asked him ” Why are you never at your desk?”

The employee replied, “Well, as you say, good employees are hard to find!”

Seasonal news; Mariah Carey is releasing a follow-up song to her iconic track "All I want For Christmas Is You". It's titled "All I Want For Easter Is A Divorce"

Me: Mum am I ugly?

Mum: I've told you not to call me Mum in public

How do you comfort a sad Xbox?

You console it.

Funny Xmas Joke here

Q. What do elves learn at school?

A. The elf-a-bet

Why did the textbook go to the doctor?

It needed to get it's appendix removed.