Jokes

I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

What do you call a mutual break up between two chiropractors?

A joint decision.

Where do dogs park their car?
In the barking lot.

Why was the computer cold?

It left its Windows open.

What do you call an unpredictable camera?

A loose Canon.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said "I'd like a divorce".
I replied that I wasn't thinking about spending that much money...

Why did the school kids eat their homework?

Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

What do you call someone who doesn’t like carbs?

Lack-Toast Intolerant.

Which petrol stations are the eggs favourite? Shell.

Did you know that bum sex is still illegal in Iceland?

Not sure if it's the same in Farmfoods so be careful!