Jokes

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer!

I've just spent a £1000 on a limousine and just been told it comes with no driver.

Can't believe I've paid all that money and nothing to Chauffer it.

What’s the easiest building to lift?

A lighthouse.

How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

When it's sunny I think 'Beer garden.'

When it rains I usually go to the pub for a while.

When it's snowing I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of Beer.

I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather!

The girlfriend just asked me what i was doing on the computer,

I said "Looking for cheap flights", She got very excited and said "I love you", then got on her knees and gave me the best BJ I've ever had....which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before!

Why did the British student bring a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school!

What did the British baker say to his assistant?

You knead to rise to the occasion!

There was a big sale on paddles at the boat store.

It was quite an oar deal.

The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.