Funny Sayings And Quotes

For examply - 'I was beside myself'. How can you be beside yourself? That is impossible. Unless you are standing next to a mirror. And then you are beside a mirror not yourself. Or 'I have more CD's than you could shake a stick at!'. As anyone tried shaking a stick at something to see if they have more than they could shake a stick at? Would they be carted off in a straitjacket if they went round shaking a stick at everything to measure the amount? X X

you are what you eat,i mean.....yeah right do i look like a c**t.

One of my favourites is when l was a child my mother was telling me off for climbing something l shouldn't have she'd say "if you break your legs don't come running to me"

(20-01-2010 19:44 )black knight Wrote:  you are what you eat,i mean.....yeah right do i look like a c**t.

Wouldn't that make you a cannibal?

I love quotes. I remember buying a book of quotes when I was a student that contained a quote from Churchill about how quotes can help people to think about the great political issues (I lost the book so I'm not searching for the quote!).

One of my favourite quotes is from Easter 1998 in Belfast. Tony Blair brokering the Good Friday agreement: "Now is not the time for soundbites but one does feel the hand of history on our shoulders."
Gladstone would have been spinning in his grave! As PM he sought the answer to the 'Irish question' and it is said that whenever he found the answer the Irish changed the question.
Enough of politics...back to sex. "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" Discuss.

Has anybody man ever had any success with the line: "Heaven must be missing an angel because you're standing here right now?"
Apart from the Tavares obviously - obscure 1970s musical reference but a great song!

(21-01-2010 00:03 )Doctoratthedock Wrote:  Has anybody man ever had any success with the line: "Heaven must be missing an angel because you're standing here right now?"
Apart from the Tavares obviously - obscure 1970s musical reference but a great song!

It never worked for me.

The human body has 206 bones. Would you like another one?

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Are you the daughter of a lumberjack? Because when I look at you I get wood

Have you got a band aid? Because I hurt my knee falling for you.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Is that a ladder in your stockings or a stairway to heaven?

"this face leaves in 10 Min's be on it"
"some one in your family must be a thief because they have stolen the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes"

"get your coat on fatty you have just pulled"

"Can I buy you a drink or would you rather I just gave you the money"

" you not what looks good on you? me"
" what has two thumbs speaks french and likes blow jobs? moi

"You dont sweat a lot for a fat lass"

"Go the other end of the bar you will find something that will delight amaze and astound you.........................me"

You have a look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year

quote tony montana (scarface)