favourite and funny song lyrics!!!!

Hi guys post any of your favourite or funny song lyrics and title of that song,

ok here goes

pietaster - the macc lads

She had just turned twenty nine ... (needed a good ironing)
Smelling like a tench ... (face looked like a welder's bench)
Her tights were baggy at the rear ... (she could fart for Lancashire)

She said she liked the taste of my bell-end cheddar
And she asked me if I wanted to bed her.

She was desperate for a fuck ... (said her c**t was healing up)
Piles and NSU ... (creepy crawlies in her pubes)
Dribbling out of her womb ... (more semen (seamen) than the QE2)

I've never been to bed with an ugly woman
But I've woken up with one or two

(Stretch marks on her bum, tasted pies for Titterton's)

Give me, your dirty love, just like your mama, make her fuzzy poodle do, (Oh, Frenchie. . .), Give me, your dirty love... - 'Dirty Love' by Frank Zappa

Women's Liberation, come creepin' across the nation, i tell you people i was not ready, when i fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie, she made a little speech then, Aw, she tried to make me say 'when', she had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick, i guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick - Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa

Big Dumb Sex - Soundgarden

Don't you don't you want to thrill me
Don't you be afraid to tell me
Tell me if you think it's ugly
But now don't you want to touch it anyway


I've been looking for a reject
And you ain't had nothing like me yet
Don't you think it's time for motion
I can take what you've been pushin'


Hey I know what to do
I'm gonna fuck fuck fuck fuck you
Fuck you
Ya I know what to do
I'm gonna fuck fuck fuck fuck you
Fuck you I'm gonna


I'm the beast and you're the master
You're the meat of the matter
I'm no fool for discretion
When it's on the tip of my tongue


Don't' you don't you want to thrill me
Don't be afraid to tell me
Tell me if you think it's ugly
But now don't you want to touch it anyway

I.L.B.T.s Joe Walsh

IUH HU
I like big tits
YOU see em on the street
left and right
i like big tits that right
i try to look away but i can't resist
evertime i try to call it quits
Hear come some tits thats a big ten 4
Uh hu
I like big tits uh hu
tits
Well they come in twos
hard to choose
your favorite tit
uh hu
i like tits for dinner a noon time snack
i like tits for lunch a big tit attack
i like tits for breakfast
iwhat it is
their where its at
tits
they give me shivers when they bounce around
buckeld up or hanging on the ground
i like big tits
uh hu
tits save it all for me
tits

Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fucking give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's fucking teamwork
Whats your favorite position?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
I'm not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard
Hard

Do you fuck on first dates does your dad own a brewery would you let me feel your tits or will you show them to me


Warney leave your wanger alone you pecker is going to get you into trouble some day so warney leave you wanger alone

Kev Bloody Wilson

Missing You -Kevin Bloody Wilson
No need to tell me
I can tell it's all over
I can see that our love's on the rocks
I've known for some time
That the passion was dying
Since the handjobs and the headjobs had stopped

And fucking? Fucking forget it
May as well feed this here bone to the dog
And me hardies are breaking
And me love spuds are aching
And I'm missing you..
Sucking me cock

I've lost count of the pearl necklaces I give ya
And the facials from the odd tonsil prod
And I miss the way
you'd smile as you gargle
Hold your nose and then swallow the lot

Now there's an unemployed sign, pinned on me fly
And me zipper's all rusty and locked
And I miss your sweet lips, doing tricks with me dick
And I'm missing you..
Sucking me cock

Since you've stopped giving head
I've been wanking instead
Till I've near-worn the fucking knob off
And me gonads are hurting
They're bulging near bursting
Now the sucking and slurping have stopped

Can't wank fast enough, cause it keeps backing up
Since your spittle has dried on me knob
And me sphincter's missing your finger
And I'm missing you..
Sucking me cock
And me sphincter's missing your finger
While I'm missing you..
Sucking me cock

Manfred Macc - The Macc Lads

There she was just walking down Mill St,
She looked so fit, I just had to beat me meat
Blonde hair, blue eyes. Do you want to try my dick for size?

Before I knew it, she had kicked me in the balls
I never said a word, I couldn’t walk, so I crawled
Dead fit, nice arse, and she knew her martial arts.

I could tell that she wanted my pork, so I offered her a ride in my brand new Porsche
"Do you want a weekend on my yacht in St Moritz?"
She said: "Fuck off, you liar," and smashed my bollocks with her fist.

She was playing hard to get, I wasn’t throwing in the towel:
"Do you like chicken, love? Well then, taste my knob, its foul (fowl)."
Big tits, long legs, she sank a spanner in my head.
Fuck, cunt, bastard, bugger wank, bugger wank.

But one thing, you gotta have nice cheeks,
Not those cheeks, the cheeks u put in ur seat,
I can tell ur lips are as soft as a peach,
Not those lips, the lips that never speak,
I'm using my head to get u in the sheets,
Not that head, the head that never think
she told me she's not a freak
but when she has a drink
in goes the liquor and out comes the freak
you never should have given to me i'm playing for keeps
new york is best so point your nipples to the east!

Sexy Girls - R Kelly feat Papoose and China Black

Best single verse i've heard in a song ever! pure genius lyrics or as Tubes from Soccer Am wud say "messy lyrics"