Jokes

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

I hate spelling errors.

You mix up two letters and your whole one liner is urined.

On a mountain trip a man falls down into a crack. His wife calls after him, “Are you OK?

“Yeah!”

“Are you hurt?”

“No!”

“Not a scratch? How come?!“

“I’m not done falling yet-et-et-et-et!”

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

The group had a huge hit record and the record company told them they were gonna be rich
The singer thought: I'll have the fastest car
The guitarist thought: I'll get 20 Gibsons
The drummer thought: I'll have the hotest girlfriend.
The bass player thought: A G D E

Here's an oldie but goldie that can be dusted off and pressed into service again.

And here's another

I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred.

Almost all of them replied, “How the hell did you get in here?”

Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club.

Thank you all for coming.

A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.”

The pharmacist says, “Ma’am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you.”

The woman takes out something out of her pocket and hands it to him. He looks at it and sees that it’s a picture of her husband making love to the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist says, “Oh, you should have told me you had a prescription.”