Jokes

If you jingle my bells, I can promise you a white Christmas.

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...... "In honor of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days." "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests" "What is your FIRST request ???' The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches,
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse", "But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request ???" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes offand disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver againreturns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents," "But I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ???" The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
Looks him square in the eye and says,
Listen Very Carefully !!!!

FOR... THE.... LAST... TIME...

I SAID .......


"BRING POSSE"

a husband and wife are sitting watching tv when he says to her"babe,tellme something that will make me happy and sad at the same time"she replies"your cocks bigger than all of your mates"

A man is driving down a road. A woman is driving down the same road from the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the man leans out the window and yells, COW !

The women immediately leans out her window and yells, TOSSER !

They each continue on their way, and as the women rounds the next curve, she crashes into a huge cow in the middle of the road and dies.

what do you get when you cross pms with gps? a crazy bitch who will find you

what have no 10 downing street and lady gaga,s pants got in common?there shouldnt be a dick inside but there is

Humpty Dumpty sat on his bed
As little Bo Beep was giving him head
Just as he came she began to weep
She could tell by the taste he’d been shaggin her sheep!!

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

I don't know what all the fuss is about Window 7 - I just opened mine and all I got was a little chocolate mouse. Whose idea was that?

Can someone please help me with my Call of Duty 4: French Edition?

It just loads up to the menu screen, and the only option is 'Quit'.