Jokes

"I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!"

It's the missus Birthday coming up and she keeps leaving jewellery catalogues lying about.

I thought she is probably trying to leave a hint to what she wants, so I bought her a magazine rack.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

I asked my partner if I was the only one, she’s been with.

She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Q. What do lawyers and female pornstars both have in common?
A. They both very good at their jobs and they get guys off.

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
A receding hare line.

Just got a job making plastic Dracula’s.

As there’s only two of us on the production line I have to make every second Count!

I used to date a woman with brittle bone disease, I loved her very much but things didn't work out, which was such a shame because she was cracking in bed....