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Jokes

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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12241
RE: Jokes
“A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex.

After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?"

The mom said, "We were baking a cake."

A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake in the living room?"

She said yes, and asked him how he knew.

He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch! It was sweet!”

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Ars longa, vita brevis

Cogito ergo sum

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
18-02-2022 19:27
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Cheesy Grin Offline
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Post: #12242
RE: Jokes
Terrible weather here so I’ve just visited my 80 year old neighbour to see if she wanted anything from the shops, turns out she did! So I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this storm.

The last days are here...
19-02-2022 08:24
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Cheesy Grin Offline
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Post: #12243
RE: Jokes
I've given my wife a medieval fighting suit to polish, whilst I go to the pub.

She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour

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19-02-2022 16:15
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12244
RE: Jokes
Why are colds bad criminals?

Because they’re easy to catch.

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Ars longa, vita brevis

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Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
19-02-2022 18:07
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12245
RE: Jokes
Which knight invented King Arthur’s Round Table?

Sir Cumference.

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Ars longa, vita brevis

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Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
19-02-2022 18:08
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12246
RE: Jokes
What happens when you witness a ship wreck?

You let it sink in.

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Ars longa, vita brevis

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Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
19-02-2022 18:11
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12247
RE: Jokes
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy?

Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!

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Ars longa, vita brevis

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Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
19-02-2022 18:13
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Cheesy Grin Offline
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Post: #12248
RE: Jokes
I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair.

Obviously, it wasn’t called that.

It was advertised as a ‘School Reunion.'

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20-02-2022 15:47
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Cheesy Grin Offline
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Post: #12249
RE: Jokes
My friend died following an accident with a cement lorry.

There's already a statue of him.

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20-02-2022 15:52
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12250
RE: Jokes
Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side

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Ars longa, vita brevis

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Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
20-02-2022 19:26
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