Jokes

People in Iran are terrified of spiders but in Iraq no phobia

I told my girlfriend that she looks better without her glasses on.
She said that I looked better without her glasses on.

What did the elephant ask the naked man?

“How do you breathe out of that thing?”

How is life like toilet paper?

You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

What do you call a person who doesn’t masturbate?

A liar.

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with TV police dramas.

For the benefit of the tape, she has just left the room.

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

That would be a big step forward

What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?

They're both Paris sites.

"Where do you learn to make a banana split?"

"Sundae school."