Jokes

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.

He says he can stop anytime.

Who designed King Arthur’s round table?

Sir Cumference of course!

Man - It's the big interview today, which of these ties should I wear?

Wife - I like both...

Later:

Wife - so, how did it go?

Man - well wearing two ties was a disaster...

What's the difference between a market trader and a dog with no back legs?
One bawls out his wares and the other....

Conjunctivitis.org, now that’s a site for sore eyes

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type.

He kept insisting we "be positive," but it’s just so hard without him.