Jokes

I once screwed up a joke about infinity.

I never heard the end of it.

I asked my girlfriend about when she lost her virginity. She said she couldn't remember, but still has the box it came in......

Don't forget next week is National Diarrhoea Week. Runs until Friday.

If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the boot of your car for an hour.

When you open the boot, who is happy to see you?

Why did God give men penises?

So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Last year I booked a table for me and the wife for Valentines Day…

Total waste of time and she couldn't even pot a red!

A dentist and a manicurist had a terrible fight.

They fought tooth and nail.

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.”

I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.

I’m in search for someone with a team player mentality to assist with milking cows on my dairy farm.

Must work well with udders.