Jokes

What did one tit say to the other?

I hope we get support soon or people will think we’re nuts.

Nothing says "I'll give you a blowjob" like a yawn.

The missus just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

She hit the roof.

Dear Sheila's Wheels,

Please note that women do not: "make the greatest drivers" as your advert suggests. For evidence of this in "real world terms" please see your nearest Formula 1 paddock, where you will note the only women allowed near the cars are in bikinis holding umbrellas, and that's only because they have previously agreed not to talk or touch anything.

Kind Regards,
J. Button

a man in a bar is really drunk.some good samaritans decide to try and get him home.so they pick him up off the floor and drag him out of the door.on the way to the car he falls down three times.when they get to his house,they get him out of the car and he falls over four more times.with him dirty and bleeding they get him to the door and ring the doorbell.a lady answers and they ask"is this your husband"? the woman replies"yes,but where,s his wheelchair"?

why do bears have fur coats? because they,d look stupid in anoraks

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, “Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other hooker looked at her and said, “No, I just burped.”

whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time?a jelly copter

A young woman walks into a bar, 'what can i get you?' asks the barman. '6 shots of Jack Daniels' she replies. '6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?' he asks. 'Yeh my 1st bj' she says. 'Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house' he replies. 'No offence sir, but if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will.'

why did the kid do his homework in a plane?he wanted a higher education