Jokes

Arsene Wenger is planting potatoes in the Emirates’ goalmouth so he’ll have something to lift come May.

why,why.why

do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

why do banks charge a fee on insufficient funds when they know there is not enough money?

why does someone believe you when you say there are four bilion stars,but check when you say the paints wet?

more why why whys

why doesnt glue stick to the bottle?

why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

why doesnt tarzan have a beard?

why does superman stop bullets with his chest,but ducks when you throw the revolver at him?

so i said to marge,im fat bald and ugly,pay me a compliment,she said your eyesights perfect,d,oh

What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?

They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?

560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.

Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.

why why oh why

why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

whose idea was it to put an s in the word lisp?

if people evolved from apes,why are there still apes?

I met this really kinky girl last night. ‘Humiliate me,’ she said … So I bought her a Tottenham shirt!

pay per view porn-the only time when premature ejaculation is considered a good thing