Jokes

What do you call a Leeds fan with many girlfriends?

A Shepherd

Why is David Beckham like a Ferrero Roche?

They both come in a posh box

why do you never hear father in law jokes?

Monica Lewinsky is 36. It seemed like just yesterday she was crawling around on the floor in the Oval Office."

two drunken pebbles are on the beach chatting about there love lives.the first asks"are you married?"the second replies"no,im shingle"

arsene wenger is called in the middle of the night by the london fire brigade."mr wenger?im sorry to have to report theres been a fire at the enirates stadium."on god"replies the arsenal manager."did you manage to save the cups?" the fireman replies"no worries,the fire never made it to the kitchen"

two guys came to my door and said "we want to talk to you about jesus.i said "oh no,whats he done now

you know you,re getting old when lucky means finding you car in the car park

My new Toyota is great, didnt know it had cruise control?
Any ideas how to turn it off?

Locals are said to be in a state of shock after Police found a stash of guns behind the library in Glasgow yesterday.

A spokesman said 'The people of Glasgow had no idea they had a library'.