Jokes

Capello's just phoned Wayne Bridge and said, "I've just spoken to JT and he's lost the captain's armband. Do me a favour and have a good look under your bed for me."

When I was little, we used to play a game called "knock and run" where you knock on someones door and run away before they answered.

Nowadays, its known as "Parcelforce"

i found a pound in the washer whilst pulling my clothes out.does that count as money laundering?

the doctor gave me pills for a rash.now ive got blisters on my feet.he said "take one three times a day then skip a day"

my mate was complaining about his itchy contact lenses.so i told him to visit netdoc.co.uk which is a site for sore eyes

two reasons why its hard to solve a redneck murder.all the DNA matches and theres no dental records

i've just found out i've got a dangerous dog,

the wife.

My wife doesn't go to the gym.

She stays fit by jumping to conclusions.

what are men like jokes

men are like......mascara.they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

men are like.....bike helmets.handy in an emergency,but otherwise they just look silly.

whats john terry's favourite carpet?

blue shag of course